B a N sH Ee b OY: Cold Star

My chocolate starfish hurts today.

I Take pictures with my Macbook camera

This is not my space -that's the point.
I don't have anywhere to keep it all except out there - with youxxx.

I am watching films at the moment, and that is why i look like this.
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Everything below this line is OLD
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This is evolving into an obituary for dying artists.
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This is a performance made from picking things up and putting them down again. It began with a song on a CD given to me as a Christmas gift. It began when I stole that green crate from the bakery on Well Street to store all my things in. My magic box David Wojnarowicz, not yours - My World!

You could say my process was pretty straight. Every night before Thursday, I panicked that I didn’t have a flash to share with the group. I panicked that I had misunderstood the task set, and spent time judging my mood, thinking about whether I felt like exposing myself tomorrow or not.

I became obsessed. I started to collect little things because they were black. I turned off all the lights and lit up my belly in all the colours of the rainbow, and remembered childhood photographs. I asked people about my ego, and they told me I definitely have one. So I started to show myself, but only a little bit at a time, a tongue, a leg, a belly. Not to scare them off.

Speaking came later. I was mostly concerned with how it all looked from the outside, the surfaces. If you could see my lips, my arse, my holes. Then one day I got beaten up so hard that it made me speak. So I spoke.

The thing about speaking is a revelation of the self, I was holding on, protecting my shins with the pads. I fancied dressing up. I have been dressing up a lot recently. In my pink hoodie and Nike pumps I began blogging. Each day I posted a new entry to the www . My world wasn’t enough, It was already brimming over, so I kept a diary out there somewhere with images, some stolen, borrowed some made up. I wrote texts and quoted others, I got acquainted with www.asianpunkboy.com and allowed people to comment on my entries. "Aaaaargh. i love this !! i am trying to write asian art history lit. review and all i can think of is star wars and Banshee Boy!"

I don’t feel done yet.

Love You
X BB

Friday, 19 August 2011

Cold Star

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